


Passenger

by Cunninglinguist



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Bodily Fluids, Canonical Character Death, Consensual Possession, Established Klaus Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves, Explicit Consent, First Time, Fluff and Humor, Gay Sex, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, Ghost Sex, Graphic Description, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Possession, Sibling Incest, Soft Diego Hargreeves, Supernatural Elements, The Umbrella Academy (TV) Season 2 Spoilers, Threesome - M/M/M, not really but just in case, you all know what I'm about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25750912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cunninglinguist/pseuds/Cunninglinguist
Summary: “And you’re sure that’s okay?”“I mean, yeah. It’s fine with me. All we have to do is ask Diego.”“And you think he’ll be...cool with it?”“Dunno.” Klaus shrugs and stirs his smoothie with his straw. “But I’m on board with it, and he usually gets on board with whatever I’m on board with, so. I’d say it’s at least worth an ask.”Klaus feels Ben’s eyes burning into him as he sips his beverage. Sure, the idea of Ben possessing him had initially been about as appealing as a coffee enema, and the first few times in practice had been more than slightly traumatizing. But once they’d established ground rules and worked to get more in tune with one another, Klaus had come to find the experience to be...interesting. It could be pleasant, almost zen—there is no sensation in the world quite like being a passenger in one's own body. And to be privy to both his own sensations as well as Ben’s? Well, that’s something else entirely.Which is why the idea of Ben possessing his body during sex both freaks him out and turns him on in equal measure.
Relationships: 2/4/6, Ben Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 47
Kudos: 419





	Passenger

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I'm back, Umbrella Academy! I wrote this immediately after watching Season 2 Episode 7 (which was made specifically for me, personally), so it's set in some slightly alternate fix-it universe where we happily ignore certain events that transpire later in the season. :) : ) : ) Please read the tags and do not read this fic if it is not your jam--it's literally what it says on the tin. Also don't read if you don't want certain elements of S2 spoiled. This is in no way beta'd. 
> 
> Fic named after the eponymous [Deftones banger.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FROn3LtGFl0)

“And you’re sure that’s okay?”

“I mean, yeah. It’s fine with me. All we have to do is ask Diego.” 

“And you think he’ll be...cool with it?”

“Dunno.” Klaus shrugs and stirs his smoothie with his straw. “But I’m on board with it, and he usually gets on board with whatever I’m on board with, so. I’d say it’s at least worth an ask.”

Klaus feels Ben’s eyes burning into him as he sips his beverage. Sure, the idea of Ben possessing him had initially been about as appealing as a coffee enema, and the first few times in practice had been more than slightly traumatizing. But once they’d established ground rules and worked to get more in tune with one another, Klaus had come to find the experience to be...interesting. It could be pleasant, almost zen—there is no sensation in the world quite like being a passenger in one's own body. And to be privy to both his own sensations as well as Ben’s? Well, that’s something else entirely.

Which is why the idea of Ben possessing his body during sex both freaks him out and turns him on in equal measure.

Klaus had slurped the mason jar nearly dry by the time Ben speaks again. 

“Do you think it will affect, um...do you think if I’m part of this, like in the driver's seat, it will affect your relationship with Diego?”

“Pfft. Don’t tell me you’re worried about that now. After all the times you’ve sat by and mercilessly roasted me for entering into a, if I might say, fairytale-like romance and smoldering sexual relationship with our beloved brother?”

“Ah, come on, don’t be so sensitive, Klaus. You know I...” Ben looks away. He’d probably be blushing, if he could. Klaus smirks and leans back in his chair, letting the awkward silence balloon between them. 

“Come on, Klaus.” Frustration rumbles in Ben’s throat. “You know I never mean it for real.” 

“I know.” Klaus grabs his empty glass and saunters over to the sink. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”

“Happy?” 

“Very.”

Ben grumbles and crosses his arms. “When’s Diego getting back anyway?”

“No idea, but I’m gonna go do yoga outside now. Gotta get nice and limber before tonight’s activities. Care to join?”

“Not like I have a choice.”

“That’s the spirit!”

“Just...can you, like, keep your shirt on, this time? The neighbors were totally staring from their deck yesterday.”

“Nope!” Klaus yanks his tie-dyed tee shirt overhead and throws it in Ben’s general direction. “They’re welcome!”

He knows he shouldn’t worry about propositioning Diego with their plan, and he isn’t, not really, but he can’t seem to get it off his mind. It’s not like he has never asked Diego to do something _out there_ in the bedroom before, but this...this is truly uncharted territory. What if this is finally crossing that line that Diego’s always claiming to have? What if he thinks Klaus is a deviant, but not in a good way? 

At this point, Klaus is fairly certain that it would take much more than a request, even a super bizarro one like this, to drive Diego away, but that fear of rejection persists, and it rankles. It distracts him so much that he falls out of his bird of paradise twice, much to his chagrin (and Ben's sadistic delight). 

When he comes in from the garden, his nerves are vibrating just under his flesh. Diego’s standing at the kitchen counter, engrossed in the paper, half-unpacked groceries and a mostly-eaten apple beside him. 

He looks up and greets Klaus with a smile. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Klaus wraps his arms around his broad shoulders and plants a smooch on those pouty pretty lips. 

Diego wrinkles his nose. “Ugh, so sweaty. You work out?”

“Just some yoga.” Klaus flounces away for a glass of water. 

“Damn, I’m sorry I missed that. Oh. I got you, uh, some of that coconut juice you like,” says Diego, gesturing vaguely. “The shit that tastes like old socks.”

“Aw! Thank you, honey.” He watches Diego return to the newspaper, pleased with himself. Ben, always rude as hell, clears his throat loudly. Klaus pulls a face at him, but Ben just shoos him forward.

Impatient, horny little bastard.

With a sigh, Klaus idly picks through the groceries and pulls out the carton of coconut water. “So.”

Diego looks up. “So?”

“I, um, was hoping to talk to you about something.” 

“Okay..?” Eyebrows rise expectantly. “Shoot, baby.”

“I was talking to Ben earlier, and--Ben’s here, by the way.” Klaus gestures to their brother, who waves. 

Of course, Diego cannot see him, but his eyes follow Klaus’ hand anyway. He nods. Bless him, he’s been trying so hard for so long to understand it all--how Ben floats in and out of Klaus’ world, their shared dynamic--and the look of acceptance on that handsome, dopey face makes Klaus want to tackle him to the floor and suck him off until he can’t see straight.

“Get on with it,” hisses Ben, earning himself a glare.

“Anyway. I was talking to Ben earlier. You know the whole, um, the whole thing where Ben can possess my body now?”

“Yeah..?”

“Okay so, he was wondering...well, we were wondering...since, you know, Ben didn’t get the chance to, um—” 

He says, “get laid” as Ben yells, “FUCK!”

“—before he died, uh, we were thinking that maybe it could be cool, if you’re down of course, for Ben to swipe his proverbial _vee card_ by possessing my body while you and me have sex.” There. It’s out, the bell has been rung for all the universe to hear. Klaus’ lips part in a grin that’s more of a grimace. 

The silence that meets this unringable bell stretches between them. Each word Klaus just said grows leaden and sinks through the floor, now imprinted indelibly in his mind, on the surface of the earth. He’s just about to crawl under the table and claim he’s entered a fugue state when Diego blinks once, twice, three times. He shakes his head. “Uh, _what?”_

“Just kidding! That was pretend, ha ha, oh Klaus, you clown, always up to those bonkers old tricks. Anyway!” Face burning, Klaus grabs a random box of very much non-perishable flaxseed crackers and places it in the refrigerator. “How was the store?”

“Hey, stop.” A gentle hand on his shoulder brings all the nerves rippling through him to stillness. Klaus turns, and is met with a very open but very confused (and very, very fucking handsome) face. 

“So, let me get this straight.” Diego furrows his brow. “You want to bone me, while Ben is possessing your body?”

Klaus nods. Ben leaps onto the countertop, crosses his legs, and rests his chin on his hands as he listens raptly. 

“Okay. That’s what I thought. So, I guess my main question is...how would that work? Would you be, uh, present for it? Like, able to communicate with me? Able to consent? Or would it just be me and Ben, in your body? And he’d have total control?” Diego exhales shakily and trails a hand over Klaus' waist, his touch igniting a fire deep within. “Would you be able to feel me, too?” 

“Oh my god. He’s so, so into it.” Ben claps his hands delightedly. Klaus shoots him a quelling look (to no end, of course). 

“Klaus?”

“Right. I honestly don’t know exactly how it’ll work. We haven’t really done anything like this before, but all I know is that when Ben, uh, takes the wheel, it’s like I’m there too, just riding shotgun. Like a passenger. He controls the movements of my body, what I do, and he’ll be the one communicating with you. But I can communicate with him, and he’s super aware of everything I’m thinking. And we both, um.” Klaus breathes deeply. “We can both feel everything. And, actually, I can feel it almost doubly—I feel what I feel, and I feel what Ben feels.”

“Whoa.” 

“Yeah.”

“That sounds really fucking intense.”

“It _is_ really fucking intense.”

“And you really want to do this?” 

“I do.”

“Okay.” Diego’s big brown eyes flicker over to where Ben had been earlier. “And, uh, Ben wants to do this? With me? With us?”

“Yes, you sexy dumbass!” Ben throws his hands up.

“Yeah, he does.” Klaus snorts. “Although, full disclosure, he did just call you a sexy dumbass.” 

“Wow. He better say that to my face next time.” Diego scoffs, but he’s smiling. “Okay, let’s do it. I can always find a way to kick his ass later.”

“Yeah?” 

He pulls Klaus’ body flush with his own and brushes their noses together. He waggles his eyebrows. “Oh, hell yeah.” 

“Yes!” Ben crows, successfully executing a spectral backflip off the kitchen counter, but Klaus is too lost in the relief of Diego’s acceptance and the sweetness of his lips to notice. 

***

“You ready?”

“I’ve been ready! Are _you_ ready?” Ben’s eyes shine as he sits across from Klaus, ghostly fingers wiggling restlessly against his folded knees. 

“Kind of you to actually ask this time, instead of doing your usual thing and, you know, just jumping in, guns blazing.”

“Hey, that was only one time!”

“Try, like, ten times!”

“Okay, fine, it was more than once. But I’ve been asking, and I’m asking now: are you ready?”

Klaus inhales for a count of one, two, three, four, five, exhales for five, four, three, two, one. He nods. “Okay. Do it.”

Without further preamble, Ben propels himself forward, reaching until Klaus feels the cold, weird, almost ticklish sensation of Ben washing over him, from head to toe. It coats his skin then settles deeper, into his bones, like a semi-erotic ice bath, until it fills him from the inside.

He gasps as he feels himself stiffen; if it’s from the bizarre sensations or Ben’s arousal, he doesn’t know. Maybe both. He _did_ come in his pants the first time Ben accidentally possessed him, but he’s regained a small amount of control over those things since.

“Oh my god,” says Ben in Klaus’ voice. Klaus feels him running his fingertips over his arms, across his bare chest. He shudders, and his body responds in kind. He’s noticed that his reflexes always, always come through, even when Ben is in total control, which doesn’t make much sense, but it’s also pretty cool. Klaus stopped attributing much value to the concept of “sense” long ago, anyway.

“You and Diego fuck a lot, yeah?” Ben’s hands keep roaming, trailing over his face, his shoulders, back down to his belly. 

_I think you know the answer to that._

“Okay. I just mean, like, your body is gonna be used to...stuff already, so Diego can just kind of, um, you know…”

_Go to town on you? Oh, definitely._

His cheeks heat. It’s pretty adorable, how prudish Ben still is, for all the things he’s seen Klaus do. As if he means to immediately contradict that sentiment, Ben dips his fingers into the waistband of Klaus’ silk shorts, eliciting another full-body shudder. 

The closest comparison Klaus can make for this is being on ecstasy, but that doesn’t even begin to do it justice. Everything is heightened a hundredfold, because everything Ben touches, Klaus experiences in the same light--like the first time Ben felt the grass beneath his feet in almost two decades, or his first ever sip of top-shelf bourbon. Now, his own skin is both foreign and familiar, every pass of his own hands like the touch of a curious lover.

Klaus can choose to be fully passive while Ben takes over, almost like he’s asleep in the backseat, feeling nothing, remembering nothing, but why, oh why, would he ever want to do that?

“Wow.” Ben cups Klaus’ cock, and Klaus lets out a whimper only he can hear. “You’re so hard.”

 _So are you._

“Guess that’s true.” Ben huffs a nervous laugh. “So, um. Should we go see Diego?”

_Unless you don’t want to anymore?_

“No, yeah, I...I do.”

_Then let’s go._

Excitement buzzing in his brain, Klaus watches through his own eyes as Ben shrugs on his short silk robe, then walks out of the bathroom, down the hall, to the bedroom.

When Ben opens the door, they both gasp--what looks like a thousand pillar candles are strewn artfully throughout the room, casting a soft glow against cream-colored walls. Diego’s bent over the record player, setting the needle on a record that immediately emits a slow, heavy, sexy-grimy rock song. 

Klaus’ heart _melts._ As tough and stubborn as he can be, this man of his has never been one to skimp on the mood-setting.

He turns as they enter, looking almost as nervous as he was before the first time he and Klaus made each other come. Mind you, they were teenagers when that happened, so to see him in a similar state now is more than a little endearing. “Ben? Is that you?”

Ben nods as his blush intensifies on Klaus’ face. “Wow,” he says, taking stock of the room. 

Diego stiffens. “Too much?”

“No, no.” Ben climbs onto the bed and beckons Diego over. “It’s perfect.”

“Cool.” Diego visibly relaxes as he joins Ben. Fuck, Klaus wants to touch him so badly, this big, beautiful romantic—

His hand caresses Diego’s cheek, and Klaus’ body shivers as Ben processes the pleasure of touching the face of a lover for the first time. 

“You’re so beautiful,” whispers Ben. 

“No way. That’s you.” Diego turns his face into Klaus’ palm and presses a kiss there that sends shockwaves through him. “Both of you.”

“Diego…” Ben hesitates, because this is his _first time,_ but he’s so, so unbearably turned on that Klaus debates knocking him out of the driver’s seat so he can climb onto Diego’s lap and sit on that big dick until his lust is well and thoroughly slaked.

But that would be counterproductive. 

“What do you need, Ben?” Diego shifts, takes Klaus’ face in his hands, and stares into his eyes, into his soul, into _Ben’s_ soul. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I’m here for you no matter what you decide. And you, too, baby. You, too.” 

Warmth unfurls within Klaus at the pet name he knows is just for him. Ben seems to like it, too. 

_Tell him you like that,_ he urges. _I don’t mind._

“I like that,” says Ben, and Klaus feels his mouth go dry. “When you call me ‘baby.’”

“Yeah?” Diego’s smile goes all the way up to his eyes. “You got it. Can I kiss you, baby?”

Ben’s not done nodding before Diego captures his mouth in an eager kiss. His arousal is palpable and all-consuming: he wants Klaus, he wants Ben, he wants the both of them like this.

Klaus’ heart thunders in his chest as Ben succumbs to the profound love imbuing this first kiss. A lush adoration for Diego blooms in that wild heart, for loving him like this, for loving Ben like this, intensifying with his desire to share this experience with two of the people he loves most in the world. 

Diego lowers him onto his back as he kisses him with growing hunger. Glorious heat grows between them with every plunge of their tongues, every gasp and sigh, and soon Ben’s grinding Klaus’ hips wantonly against him. Klaus groans; the feeling of his prick rubbing against Diego’s strong thigh through the luscious silk of his shorts is already sending them spiraling towards oblivion.

_Might want to hold your horses, partner._

“Why?” Ben moans into Diego’s mouth.

 _You really, really don’t want this to be over yet. Trust me._

“Everything okay?” Diego pulls back with a slight frown.“You want to stop?”

“No.” Ben shakes his head. “But Klaus says I’m gonna come too soon.”

“Oh.” Diego smirks. “Don’t worry about that. Come whenever you want, baby. I’ll make you come again. Trust me. Just ask Klaus.”

Klaus would roll his eyes if he could. Smug, gorgeous, entirely correct bastard. _Well, he’s got me there. Get after it, cowboy._

Diego kisses his neck. “Good to keep going?” 

A frantic nod from Ben has Diego sitting back on his heels and shedding his soft black tank top. Ben divests himself of the robe, too, and then they’re kissing again, bare chests pressing against one another as Diego plunges one of his large, slender hands into Klaus’ waistband.

Ben cries out and practically convulses. “Oh, god, I want you to fuck me,” he blurts. “Please, Diego, I—it’s so much, I just want—“

“Hey, shh, slow down. I got you, baby, I got you.” Diego brushes an errant curl from Klaus’ forehead and meets his eyes with a sincerity that would bowl even the most jaded man over. “You want me to fuck you? Like, anal sex?”

 _Literally always,_ says Klaus, as Ben nods.

“Okay. Then I’m gonna need to get you ready for me now, alright? Just tell me if anything is, uh, just tell me if you want me to stop, or do something different.”

“Okay.”

It’s oddly lovely, to take a back seat in his own body as Diego uses all of his laser-sharp focus and intensity for pleasure and pleasure alone. Ben’s aura is _vibrating_ as Diego kisses down his body, pausing to blow a raspberry on his low belly to break the tension with laughter.

 _I fucking love you,_ sighs Klaus, watching his hand stroke Diego’s hair. _I love you both._

“Oh, god.” Ben cracks Klaus’s voice and a lump forms in his throat. Before he can say anything else, Diego’s lips part and he takes Klaus into his mouth.

“Oh, god!” Klaus’ back arches, synapses firing as every cell in his body lights up. He’s moaning loudly, incessantly, and he can feel how overwhelmed Ben is, ablaze with lust. This spurs Diego on, and he doubles his effort, drooling all over him in his enthusiasm until Klaus’ legs are shaking and Ben is trying so, so hard not to give in, not yet—

Then there’s a slick finger rubbing at his hole, and a gorgeous little shock, like the burn of a violet wand, but deep within Klaus’ gut. Ben cries out, heels slipping against the sheets as he releases with such force that Klaus’ brain goes all fuzzy and his spectral form briefly lifts out of Klaus’ body, suspended mid-air for the barest of seconds, glowing neon blue, before crashing back into him like a speeding freight train.

“Whoa.” Diego’s staring up at Klaus from between his legs, swollen lips parted in shock. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and lets out an incredulous chuckle. _”Whoa.”_

“Holy shit.” Ben laughs deliriously, propping himself up on his elbows and pulling Diego up for a kiss. “Holy fucking shit.”

Utterly disoriented, Klaus can do little more than gasp for breath, unheard by anyone apart from Ben. Nothing leading up to this moment could have possibly prepared him for the intensity of Ben’s first orgasm in his body, and the rush is better than any drug he’s ever found--and he’s found them _all._

“So that was...good, then?” Diego’s voice is as cautious as his hands rubbing soothing circles on Klaus’ thighs. 

“Oh, yeah,” say Ben and Klaus in unison. 

“Good. Because it looked fucking...unreal.” He exhales, long and loud. “Still up for me fucking you?”

“Yes!”

“Okay then.” Diego grins and raises an eyebrow. “Lie back and spread ‘em, baby.”

 _Fucking nerd._ Klaus barely has time to laugh at his brother before strong hands are pushing his knees apart and warm lips are brushing against his inner thighs. Ben bites his lip, and Klaus’ stomach flips as his cock swells again almost instantly. 

“Hard again already?” Diego’s tone is both teasing and reverent. 

“One of the benefits of being dead, I guess.” Ben lets out a shaky laugh. “No refractory period. And I don’t have to wait for Klaus, either, apparently.”

“That’s hot.” Diego’s eyes are dark with lust as he holds Ben’s gaze and languidly drags his hot, wet tongue up the side of Klaus’ prick. Klaus can’t help but groan at the overstimulation, but it’s so toe-curlingly good, he doesn’t want to do much more than let it happen. 

When Ben is letting out steady moans and whimpers once again, Diego pauses his ministrations to lube up his fingers. 

_Yes, finally,_ sighs Klaus as Ben spreads his legs wider. With minimal effort, Diego slings a leg over his shoulder and nibbles on his sensitive, sweaty flesh as he slides a finger inside him, nice and easy. Ben fists Klaus’ hands in Diego’s hair, pulling so hard it has to hurt, but he’s rolling his hips and groaning, “yes, more, _yes,”_ so Diego continues with zeal.

“Damn,” he murmurs, mouthing at Klaus’ thigh as he slips another finger into him. “You look so good, baby, you’re doing so good, so good.”

“More,” whispers Ben.

“You sure?”

_“Yes.”_

Klaus is panting as Diego finally shucks off his underwear and kneels between his thighs. An overpowering desire tears through him as he watches Diego slick his cock, and Klaus can’t tell if it’s Ben’s arousal or his own that surges in his veins as Diego hitches a slender leg over his thigh, takes his mouth in a consuming kiss, and slowly, achingly slowly, presses into Klaus’ body. 

Ben gasps, digging fingernails into Diego’s back as he’s filled for the first time. 

“Does that feel good?” Diego’s voice is strained, and Klaus can tell how badly he wants to move, but he’s restraining himself for Ben’s benefit. 

“Y-yeah,” comes the response, and their eyes lock as Diego resumes. 

It’s incredible like this, slower than they usually take it, and Klaus feels his eyes rolling back in his head as every last, thick inch of Diego slides into him before languidly drawing out with each delicious roll of skilled hips. After all this time, Diego knows his body to a tee, and he uses this to his advantage: every kiss to his jaw, every rub of calloused fingertips against his nipples, every lovebite to his neck makes Klaus gasp, and Ben’s gasping too, surrendering completely to the earthly pleasures of Klaus’ quivering body.

Soon Diego flips them over, so Klaus is straddling his hips, pushing his cock deeper inside. Ben moans and bucks his hips, inexperienced, but Klaus helps him find a rhythm. Diego’s hand splays against his low back, guiding him too, and he’s letting out harsh pants through clenched teeth as he rocks up into Klaus. Sweat drips between their heaving chests, and Ben’s steadily crying out as Diego strokes him just there, just right--

“Fuck,” he grits out, sucking a quick, brutal bruise against Klaus’ neck. “Fuck, baby, fuck you’re tight, you’re so fucking sexy.”

“God, Klaus,” pants Ben. “It’s so much, Diego, but it feels so good.”

 _I know, I know it does, so good, so good._ Klaus is floating, inundated by profound physical sensation, and the sweet, inexorable press of Ben’s emotions, commingling with his own. 

“Does it always feel this good?”

_Not always, no. But with Diego, yeah, yeah._

“With you? You better believe it, baby.” Diego runs a possessive hand down Klaus’ side to grab his ass.

_I love you, I love you so much, Diego, Ben--_

Ben mewls, high-pitched and desperate. “Oh, shit. Oh, _fuck._ Klaus, I...I’m so..I think I might...Klaus, Diego, Diego--”

“Yeah, baby? Yeah?” Diego grabs Klaus’ hips tight enough to bruise and falls onto his back. He plants his feet on the bed so Klaus sees fucking stars on the next thrust, and he drives up into him until Klaus feels himself dripping steadily onto Diego’s belly as tears slide down his face.

That inescapable pressure that had been building in Klaus’ gut suddenly breaks free, licking up his spine like flames. His mouth goes slack as his spine stiffens, a dull ache settling in his thighs from bouncing in Diego’s lap, toes curling in bliss.

Helpless and overwhelmed to the point that he’s nearly maxed out, Klaus can do little more than whimper at the back of his own mind, _I’m gonna come, oh fuck me, I’m gonna come._

“Jesus Christ, you’re perfect, you feel so good, you’re gonna make me come in that perfect fucking body,” groans Diego, eyelids fluttering. “Fucking love you, baby, I love you so much.”

“Oh, fuck.” Ben bites his lip and swivels his hips, “God, Diego, you’re so deep, it’s so big, oh god, it’s--I feel--this is--I’m gonna--”

Diego’s voice echoes Klaus’ thoughts as he wraps a hand around Klaus’ leaking prick and whispers harshly, _“Come, Ben, come, baby.”_

As if on cue, Ben throws his head back and scratches deep lines into Diego’s sweat-slick chest as he comes, long and hard and messy, all over Diego, with an otherworldly scream. It’s beyond intoxicating, beyond powerful, the love and lust surging through Klaus’ body, through his psyche, permeating every nucleus of every cell in his seizing body as their shared climax shatters him into a million shards and puts him back together, only to break him apart once more. 

The sound of his own broken sobs underscored by the needle scratching against a record is the last thing Klaus hears before he sinks into deep, ecstatic darkness. 

The first thing he notices when he blinks his way back into consciousness is the smell of cigarette smoke, followed quickly by the sticky layer of sweat and other fluids on his bare skin. He hugs himself, letting out a huge exhale--he’s back in control of his body now. He turns to his left to see Ben staring up at the ceiling, chest heaving, a bewildered grin plastered on his face. He turns to his right to see Diego doing the same, buck naked, equally sticky, with a lit cigarette dangling, ignored, from his slender fingers. 

Klaus reaches over to pluck the cigarette out of his hand. “Well, that was something different,” he croaks before taking a lengthy drag. 

“Uh, yeah, you could say that.” Diego turns, propping himself up on his elbow, sex-flushed face illuminated by the dim bulb of the Tiffany lamp on the bedside table. Frowning, Klaus realizes that all the candles are now snuffed out. “Um. Are you, uh, is Klaus--”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Klaus lets Diego lean down and kiss him deeply, grinning smoke into his mouth. “I take it you enjoyed yourself?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. Holy shit, though.”

Ben rolls onto his side and flings an arm across Klaus’ chest. “Tell him that was fucking awesome.”

“Oh I think we all know _you_ enjoyed yourself.” Klaus rolls his eyes and takes another pull on the cigarette.

Diego’s eyes flicker between Klaus’ face and the space he knows to be occupied by Ben. “What did Ben say?”

“He says it was just okay.”

He’s immediately met with simultaneous punches to opposite biceps. “Owwww-uh!” He rolls through Ben and stubs the cigarette out in a planchette-shaped ashtray. “Of course he didn’t say that, you absolute douche nozzles. He’s a total cockslut now, Di. Horny little fucker.” 

“And to think, I didn’t pull out even half of my moves.” Diego’s plush lips press a kiss to Klaus’ smarting bicep. “I’m glad he liked it, though. I...wow, that was just...wow.”

“What happened here?” Klaus gestures to the candles. “The earth-shattering force of that last Bengasm?”

“Yeah.” Diego reaches for another cigarette and shakes his head. “It _was_ earth-shattering. It was fucking insane, man. I could see the both of you, like...your bodies were both there, on top of me. I could see Ben’s face, and your face, and then this crazy blue light just shot out of you and wiped out the candles and the record player. Probably shattered my Deftones vinyl, too.”

“Sorry,” says Ben sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. 

“Oopsy,” is what Klaus offers with a shrug, but Diego waves him off. 

“It was totally worth it. Although my legs feel like Jell-O and I think my brain, like, catapulted out of my dick when I came.”

“That’s assuming you had a brain in the first place.” 

“Hey now.” Diego chuckles and passes him the cigarette. “How was it for you? Were you, um, able to, uh..”

“Oh, I felt that whole fucking thing, yeah. It was...yeah. Not sure there are words to describe it. Just, uh. Wow.”

“You’re welcome.” Ben pats him on the shoulder, looking entirely too pleased with himself. 

“That’s so sexy,” murmurs Diego, half-rolling on top of Klaus to kiss him again. “You’re the hottest, freakiest witch I know, baby. And I’m definitely down to do this creepy-hot, necromancer sex stuff more often, if Ben’s into it.”

“Works for me,” says Klaus. “And I know it works for him. But shit, I need to recover first.”

“Want me to get you some of that nasty coconut juice?”

“Coconut _water,_ but yeah, that would be amazing.”

“I got you baby.” Diego kisses his forehead, steals the cigarette back, and pads out of the room. Klaus sighs dreamily as he watches his naked ass bounce with every step, but his view is inconsiderately blocked by Ben hovering over him with wide, eager eyes. 

“Round two in twenty minutes?”

“Slow down there, tiger. A bitch needs to hydrate. And probably sleep for like, at least seven hours. Letting your horny ass drive all this hot business is no small task, okay? And I gotta eat, too. Shit, I’m starving. I want steak. Like a big, bloody carcass. I wonder if Diego got anything carcass-y at the store.” With a groan, Klaus heaves himself into a seated position.

Ben’s eyes darken. “What if I try to use my tentacles this time?”

Klaus freezes, raises an eyebrow. “...Go on.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! It's so good to be writing these glorious fools again, I missed them so much (and now with more Ben!). If you enjoyed this, please let your friendly neighborhood smut peddler know with a life-sustaining comment and a kudo or two, if you can spare it. 
> 
> Come yell with me about these nightmare boys (among other things) on [Tumblr dot com](http://whoreschach.tumblr.com/), if you're into that kind of thing.


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